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In ancient Israel, it came to pass that a trader by the name of Abraham Com
did take unto himself a young wife by the name of Dot. And Dot Com was a comely woman, broad of
shoulder and long of leg. Indeed, she had been called Amazon Dot Com.
She said unto Abraham, her husband, "Why doth thou travel far from town
to town with thy goods when thou can trade without ever leaving thy tent?" And Abraham did
look at her as though she were several saddle bags short of a camel load, but simply said,
"How, Dear?"
And Dot replied, "I will place drums in all the towns and drums in
between to send messages saying what you have for sale and they will reply telling you which
hath the best price. And the sale can be made on the drums and delivery made by Uriah's
Pony Stable (UPS)."
Abraham thought long and decided he would let Dot have her way with the drums.
The drums rang out and were an immediate success. Abraham sold all the goods he had at the top
price, without ever moving from his tent.
But this success did arouse envy. A man named Maccabia did secret himself
inside Abraham's drum and was accused of insider trading. And the young men did take to Dot
Com's trading as doth the greedy horsefly take to camel dung. They were called: Nomadic
Ecclesiastical Rich Dominican Siderites, or NERDS for short.
And lo, the land was so feverish with joy at the new riches and the deafening
sound of drums that no one noticed that the real riches were going to the drum maker, one
Brother William of Gates, who bought up every drum company in the land. And indeed did insist
on making drums that would work only with Brother Gates' drumheads and drumsticks.
Dot did say, "Oh, Abraham, what we have started is being taken over by
others." And as Abraham looked out over the Bay of Ezekiel, or as it came to be known
"eBay" he said, "We need a name that reflects what we are," and Dot
replied, "Young Ambitious Hebrew Owner Operators." "YAHOO", said
Abraham.
And that is how it all began. It wasn't Al Gore after all.
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