| You know you've had too much coffee when... |
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- Instant coffee takes too long
- People get dizzy just watching you.
- The nurse needs a scientific calculator to take your pulse.
- The only time you're standing still is during an earthquake.
- You answer the door before people knock.
- You can jump-start your car without cables.
- You can outlast the Energizer bunny.
- You can take a picture of yourself from ten feet away without using the
timer.
- You can type sixty words a minute with your feet
- You channel surf faster without a remote.
- You chew on other people's fingernails
- You don't even wait for the water to boil anymore
- You don't sweat, you percolate.
- You forget to unwrap candy bars before eating them.
- You get a speeding ticket even when you're parked.
- You go to AA meetings just for the free coffee
- You go to sleep, just so you can wake up and smell the coffee
- You grind your coffee beans in your mouth.
- You have a picture of your coffee mug on your coffee mug.
- You have to watch videos in fast-forward.
- You haven't blinked since the last lunar eclipse
- You help your dog chase its tail
- You know you are addicted to coffee if ...
- You lick your coffeepot clean
- You short out motion detectors.
- You ski uphill.
- You sleep with your eyes open
- You soak your dentures in coffee overnight.
- You walk twenty miles on your treadmill before you realize it's not plugged
in.
- Your eyes stay open when you sneeze.
- Your first-aid kit contains two pints of coffee with an I.V. hook-up.
- Your nervous twitch registers on the Richter scale.
- You're so jittery that people use your hands to blend their margaritas.
- You're so wired you pick up FM radio
- You're the employee of the month at Starbucks and you don't even work
there
- You've built a miniature city out of little plastic stirrers.
- You've worn out your third pair of tennis shoes this week.
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